Challenge 3: Face your fear of missing out!

We text friends while we’re having drinks with someone at a bar, and we scroll through socials on the toilet. We are constantly online, and we always fear that we are missing something. What else can we expect when even the information about our studies is on our phones? And socials are developed to keep us engaged for as long as possible? Putting down your phone has become incredibly difficult because you might miss out on a lot of things. This is called FOMO, the fear of missing out. FOMO gives you an awful feeling when, for example, you see your friends doing something fun while you are at home on the couch. You compare yourself to others and believe that they have more fun in life than you. On top of that, spending a lot of time online can make you feel overstimulated.

Today we’ll change the question. Instead of asking ‘What do I miss out on when I’m not online?’, we’ll ask ‘What will I miss out on when I’m on my phone all day?’

Assignment: Don’t use your phone for a day

You’ve guessed it, you’re going to spend the day without your phone. But before you do that, answer the following questions. Write down your answers on paper or download the pdf.

Question 1. How much time do you think you spend on your phone each day?

Question 2. Check your actual screentime on your phone. Was your guess close?

Question 3. What do you think you will miss out on? How does that make you feel?


Now, turn off your phone until the next day.

Is this still too difficult? Try turning your phone off for half a day, or several hours. Maybe today is not a convenient day to try this exercise. In that case, plan a different day and write it down in your agenda. It’s important that you don’t use your iPad or laptop for the things that you normally use your phone for.

Extra tips

• Ask your housemates to hide your phone.
• Turn off your phone completely, not just on silent. This way you won’t see any notifications.
• Ask someone to join you. This will make the exercise easier.
• Choose the right day to turn off your phone. Don’t choose a day when you expect an important phone call from, for example, your doctor, family, or study.
• Let people know that you are turning off your phone for the day, so that they know they can’t reach you or that they must contact a friend or family member in case something important pops up.
• Keep your answers to the questions above and read them when you notice you are on your phone a lot
   

Questions for after the exercise

Answer the following questions after you did this assignment. You can also find them on the pdf.

• How did the day without your phone go?
• Did you find it difficult not to go on your phone? Why or why not?
• How often did you feel the urge to get your phone?
• Did you miss out on a lot? If so, on what?
• Did you have positive experiences too? If so, which?
• How did it feel to not have to compare yourself to others for a whole day?
   

Getting off social media completely?

Of course, you don’t have to get off social media completely. Social media isn’t all bad. But it might be a good idea to check if you want to use it less. How much time would you gain if you spend 1 hour instead of 5 hours scrolling on your phone? And how much more relaxed would it make you feel? FOMO won’t bother you as much and you will spend less time comparing yourself to others, giving you more space to focus on yourself.
 

Tips to help you spend less time online and be more present

• Check your messages and socials at the same time every day. For example, in the morning, after lunch and at the end of the day (but not right before going to bed).
• Set limits for your screentime and social media, for example, for TikTok.
• Set your screen to black and white, so that it looks less attractive.
• Turn off your notifications. Yes, also Whatsapp notifications, at least for group chats.
• Delete apps such as Netflix, games, and your e-mail, so that you are less likely to use them on your phone.
• Turn flight-mode on for a few hours every day, so that you really are unavailable.
• When meeting up with someone, put your phone on silent and keep it in your bag. This way you it will distract you less.

Do you feel a lot of pressure to perform, and do you want personal help or advice? Reach out (anonymously) to one of our staff members at our helpdesk MIND Korrelatie. You can call, chat, Whatsapp, or e-mail with one of our psychologists or social workers.